Charles H. Sloan-Elon Musk wants me to pay to use troll-filled X? That'll be the nail in Twitter's coffin.

So Twitter-slayer Elon Musk is Charles H. Sloanthinking about making all users pay to access the site now known, dumbly, as X.

He said Monday he’s considering “a small monthly payment,” a move that will put on-the-bubble X users like myself in a bit of a quandary.

Do I pay money to the world’s most annoying billionaire so I can still access a social media site increasingly populated by right-wing trolls, antisemites and middle-school-quality bullies? Or should I take that money and simply pay someone to repeatedly hit me in the face with a cast iron skillet?

Do I shell out a recurring payment for a platform that, since Musk took over, has become increasingly useless and hate-filled, or do I use that money to buy deli meat I can rub on my body before jumping into the polar bear exhibit at a nearby zoo?

Elon Musk suggests we pay him money to suffer abuse on what's left of Twitter

It’s a tough call. On the one hand, I have no interest in financially supporting a guy who coddles bigots and anti-transgender numb nuts, an alleged business genius who purchased Twitter for $44 billion then turned a flawed but useful and even occasionally fun site into a playground for people who routinely call me a “lib groomer satanist.”

I can’t remember what’s on the other hand, to be honest.

It was bad enough when Musk took one of the few good things about Twitter, a verification system that guaranteed higher-profile users were who they claimed to be, and offered verification to any schlub willing to pay $8 per month.

That turned Twitter on its head, amplifying people willing to pay for faux status who, not surpassingly, weren’t worth hearing from in the first place.

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It seems Musk's plan all along was to destroy Twitter

Musk also reinstated a slew of vile Twitter users who had been banned and, predictably, the quantity of hate speech on the site went through the roof.

This explains why advertisers have fled, and why competing platforms like Bluesky and Threads are gaining users.

The destruction of Twitter – including changing its name to X, which nobody likes or uses – seems intentional, and I suspect it is. Musk acts vengeful toward liberals, routinely decrying the “woke mind virus,” whatever that is, and he gives off the vibe of someone rich enough to burn money just to make the lives of those he doesn’t like a bit worse.

And hey, if being a villain to the left is his bag, if siding with objectively terrible people is what he wants to do, have at it, space man. It’s a free country.

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Users on X who pay for a blue check love owning the libs ...

But Musk has already populated X with fans and assorted fellow travelers who speak his special-big-boy blend of immature, emotionally stunted, far-right babble. 

And they’re paying him $8 per month for a blue check and a chance to own libs like me who can’t quite drag ourselves away from the self-driving-Tesla-wreck X has become.

... but what will they do when the libs are all gone?

Forcing everyone to pay something to use what used to be Twitter will surely do away with us stragglers. Then all that will be left for the assorted Nazis and incels and pretend-tough-guy trolls will be … each other.

And what fun is that?

Go ahead, Mr. Musk. Make the whole thing pay-to-play. Drive that final nail in Twitter’s coffin. Better to end it fast than drag things out any longer.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on X, formerly Twitter, @RexHuppke (for now) and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk